I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
