YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
