Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
