So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize