Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
