Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
