Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
