you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
