So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I looked at my own cervix.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
