I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize