I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
