i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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