But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
