lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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