and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
