I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize