A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Randomize
