You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
