you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
