I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
