His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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