He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
