Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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