so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize