found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
