so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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