That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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