Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
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