no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
