I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize