The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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