piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
