So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
how does that bad decision feel?
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