She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
