hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
