I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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