I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
