I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Im part way to drunk.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
