Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
