Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Randomize