I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
