i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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