Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
