Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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