I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
My boob is missing a layer of skin
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
