finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
