dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
