So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
