No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I am one with the molecules
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize