There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
