Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Quick, to the slutcave!
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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