I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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