When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I need to stop coming to work sober
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
