Screwed.edu
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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