Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
this just has baby written all over it
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
and you fell through a lawn chair
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize