Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
