Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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