Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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