He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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