Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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