there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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