I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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