Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
