Your tits are I can't wait for
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize