We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
