He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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